ISTJ and ESFJ Relationship

Learn about Myers-Briggs types and relationships

ISTJ

What is an ISTJ Personality Type
(The Investigator)?
People with an ISTJ personality type tend to be reserved, orderly, and practical in their behavior. They are self-sufficient and work hard to meet their obligations. They prefer to be alone or in small groups of close friends and may be quiet and reserved in large group settings.

ESFJ

What is an ESFJ Personality Type
(The Provider)?
People with the ESFJ personality type tend to be empathetic, warm-hearted, and supportive in their behavior. They’re often social butterflies, and their desire to connect with people makes them popular. Highly aware of the others’ needs, they may seek to help frequently and sincerely.

Communication

How can ISTJ and ESFJ types communicate effectively with each other?

ISTJs and ESFJs are both Sensing, Judging personalities, which means they tend to focus on the present, concrete details and follow consistent schedules. ISTJs, however, prefer to spend time alone and base decisions on logical thinking, while ESFJs enjoy spending time around others and considering the emotional impact of an issue.

ISTJs should avoid criticizing ESFJs, focusing instead on sharing affirmations and encouragements.

ESFJs should avoid being overly emotional around ISTJs.


Resolving Conflict

How can ISTJ and ESFJ types resolve conflict?

ISTJs prefer to solve issues logically, while ESFJs tend to work through personal tensions emotionally. ISTJs should respect ESFJs’ need to express themselves by listening closely and offering support, while ESFJs should appreciate ISTJs’ rational processing by avoiding excessive emotional phrasing.


Building Trust

How can ISTJ and ESFJ types build trust?

ISTJs are likely to trust ESFJs who aren’t easily offended by constructive criticism and can express their thoughts calmly; ESFJs should give ISTJs personal space to help them feel more at ease.

ESFJs tend to trust ISTJs who take time to get to know them; ESFJs will relate more to ISTJs who can share their emotions.

Free Personality Test

Working Together

How can ISTJ and ESFJ types work together?

ISTJs bring objective decision making to a work environment, while ESFJs bring empathetic thinking and positive energy. ISTJs can help ESFJs become better listeners, while ESFJs can help ISTJs consider others when making decisions.


Dealing with Change

How can ISTJ and ESFJ types deal with change?

Both ISTJs and ESFJs tend to have a difficult time adapting to change. Because they plan well in advance, a new situation can seem like a major obstacle. ISTJs and ESFJs should work to come up with new and improved goals that work with change.  


Managing Stress

ISTJ and ESFJ types need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

ISTJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Lack of structure in a work environment
  • Large groups of other people
  • Expressing personal feelings to others
  • Maneuvering interpersonal conflict

ESFJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Working by themselves on a project
  • Making decisions that upset others
  • Being assertive or forceful
  • Overly analytical or fact-based jobs

ISTJs should avoid being overly critical of ESFJs, while ESFJs should give ISTJs plenty of personal space to recharge.


Encouraging and Motivating

ISTJ and ESFJ types can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

ISTJ types are motivated by...

  • Abiding by a designated routine
  • Time by themselves to recharge
  • Discovering a practical solution to a problem
  • Stability and security in personal life

ESFJ types are motivated by...

  • Building personal connections with others
  • Consistency and stability in their personal lives
  • Helping fulfill the needs of other people
  • Advising and teaching those around them

ISTJs can motivate ESFJs by allowing them to openly share their emotions and offering appreciation for their attentiveness to the needs of others.

ESFJs can motivate ISTJs by appreciating their ability to remain relatively unbiased and encouraging them to take time for themselves.


Learn about yourself with a free personality test.
Free Personality Test