Type 3 and Type 5 Relationship

Learn about Enneagram types and relationships

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What is Enneagram Type 3
(The Performer)?
People with an Enneagram type Three personality tend to be ambitious, adaptable, and enthusiastic in their behavior. They are driven and love to set and accomplish goals. They tend to adjust their roles, actions, and expressions to every setting or people-group in order to best fit each environment.

thought

What is Enneagram Type 5
(The Thinker)?
People with an Enneagram type Five personality tend to be curious, independent, and observant in their behavior. They love to pursue knowledge and seek a deeper understanding of the world around them. They often prefer privacy and time alone to think, which may lead them to withdraw from others.

Communication

How can Threes and Fives communicate effectively with each other?

Threes and Fives are both logical personalities; however, Threes are motivated by the desire to be valued by others, while Fives are driven by the need to be competent and wise.

Because Fives tend to be more reserved, Threes should be conscious of their personal space, addressing concerns clearly and concisely.

Fives should be direct when communicating with Threes while offering encouragement and support.


Resolving Conflict

How can Threes and Fives resolve conflict?

Threes and Fives should address issues logically. Threes should be attentive and level-headed, sharing their perspective openly and encouraging Fives to consider both sides of the situation. Fives should be open-minded and sensitive by avoiding harsh phrasing and taking the time to work through the problem effectively.


Building Trust

How can Threes and Fives build trust?

Threes tend to trust Fives who appreciate Threes’ success and share new, innovative ideas. Fives should help Threes feel supported by recognizing their accomplishments.

Fives generally trust Threes who allow them space to be alone. Threes should attentively listen when Fives excitedly share about a topic, while sharing appreciation for their breadth of knowledge.

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Working Together

How can Threes and Fives work together?

Threes are usually outgoing and success-driven, while Fives tend to be more reserved and focused on obtaining knowledge. Threes bring efficient, practical thinking to a workplace. Fives offer insightful, strategic solutions. Threes can help Fives communicate more effectively with others, while Fives can potentially help Threes recover from failure by offering sound advice and encouraging them to set new goals.


Dealing with Change

How can Threes and Fives deal with change?

Many Threes will adjust well to change, as they tend to be optimistic and adaptable. Fives may be disrupted by change if it interrupts their personal time, but are likely to adjust to new situations quickly.


Managing Stress

Threes and Fives need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

Threes are easily stressed by...

  • Stress from feeling as though they need to constantly entertain
  • Repetitive failure or difficulty solving a problem
  • Being perceived negatively
  • Working to reconcile their own emotions

Fives are easily stressed by...

  • Large groups of unfamiliar people
  • Emotional expressions and situations
  • Being required to meet other people’s needs
  • Overstimulation or lack of peace

Threes should allow Fives to spend plenty of time alone, while Fives should avoid being overly critical of Threes.


Encouraging and Motivating

Threes and Fives can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

Threes are motivated by...

  • Accomplishing what they set out to do
  • Feeling loved and accepted by others
  • Having new goals to achieve
  • Public-speaking or meeting new people

Fives are motivated by...

  • Discovering something new about the world
  • Alone time to think and reconnect with themselves
  • Learning a new skill or technique
  • Feeling valued, able, and appreciated

Threes can motivate Fives by sharing appreciation for their learned skills and abilities.

Fives can encourage Threes by recognizing their personal accomplishments and successes.


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