The framework
The four attachment styles.
Anxious, avoidant, secure and fearful-avoidant are the four corners of two underlying dimensions. Here is what each one looks like day to day, at work as well as in relationships.
What it measures
The dimensions underneath.
Attachment research describes two independent dimensions rather than a set of boxes: how much you worry about a relationship holding, and how comfortable you are depending on someone. Where you sit on those two lines is the real result. The four named styles below are the four corners of that space, and they are a convenience for talking about it rather than four different kinds of person.
Attachment anxiety
How much attention goes to whether the relationship is secure.
Attachment avoidance
How comfortable closeness and depending on someone feel.
The types
4 results, two dimensions.
Secure
Around half of adults in published research
Closeness is comfortable and so is being on your own.
Anxious
Roughly one in five adults in published research
You want closeness, and you notice every change in it.
Avoidant
Roughly one in four adults in published research
You handle it yourself, and that has worked.
Fearful-avoidant
Under one in ten adults in published research
You want closeness and it makes you wary at the same time.
Method
What it cannot tell you.
- This measures how you relate to people now, not what happened to you as a child. Attachment patterns shift with circumstance and with individual relationships.
- Your style can differ between a partner, a parent and a manager. This asks about close relationships generally, so it reports an average.
- The two scores are more informative than the label. Someone just over a line and someone far past it get the same name and are not in the same position.
- This is not a clinical instrument and it does not diagnose anything.
Which one are you?
4 minutes, free, and you get both scores rather than just a label.