Type 3 and Type 4 Relationship

Learn about Enneagram types and relationships

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What is Enneagram Type 3
(The Performer)?
People with an Enneagram type Three personality tend to be ambitious, adaptable, and enthusiastic in their behavior. They are driven and love to set and accomplish goals. They tend to adjust their roles, actions, and expressions to every setting or people-group in order to best fit each environment.

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What is Enneagram Type 4
(The Creative)?
People with an Enneagram type Four personality tend to be creative, sensitive, and expressive in their behavior. They like to be unique and seek to find their own identity. Though they desire relationships, they may seem distant and reserved, especially in group settings.

Communication

Enneagram Type 3 & Type 4 Communication

How can Threes and Fours communicate effectively with each other?

Enneagram Threes are motivated by the desire to be accepted by others, while Fours are driven by the need for their own unique identity.

Threes should avoid being overly logical when communicating with Fours by focusing, instead, on forming personal connections.

Fours should try to be direct and even-tempered when addressing Threes.


Resolving Conflict

Enneagram Type 3 & Type 4 Conflict

How can Threes and Fours resolve conflict?

Threes should be attentive and sensitive with Fours by sharing their own perspective gently and remaining empathetic to Fours. Fours should avoid overly emotional expressions by focusing on addressing the facts of a situation and calmly explaining how they’ve been affected. Threes and Fours should work together to find a working compromise.


Building Trust

Enneagram Type 3 & Type 4 Trust

How can Threes and Fours build trust?

Threes tend to trust Fours who can both express themselves logically, when needed, and help Threes work through their own difficult emotions. Fours can help Threes address internalized negative self-perception and feel more deeply confident in their own abilities.

Fours generally trust Threes who allow Fours to express themselves openly. Threes should recognize and affirm Fours’ individuality.

Working Together

Enneagram Type 3 & Type 4 Working Together

How can Threes and Fours work together?

Threes are usually social and hard-working, while Fours tend to be more artistic and expressive. Threes bring efficiency and resourcefulness to a workplace. Fours offer insight and creative thinking. Threes can help Fours avoid being personally offended by negative situations, while Fours can help Threes understand and express their emotions.


Dealing with Change

Enneagram Type 3 & Type 4 Change

How can Threes and Fours deal with change?

Many Threes will adjust well to change, as they tend to be optimistic and adaptable. Fours aren’t generally concerned with routine, meaning they don’t tend to be very affected by change.


Managing Stress

Threes and Fours need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

Enneagram Type 3 & Type 4 Stress

Threes are easily stressed by...

  • Stress from feeling as though they need to constantly entertain
  • Repetitive failure or difficulty solving a problem
  • Being perceived negatively
  • Working to reconcile their own emotions
Enneagram Type 3 & Type 4 Stress

Fours are easily stressed by...

  • Casual or meaningless conversation
  • Parties and large groups of unfamiliar people
  • Lack of personal creativity
  • Being interrupted or facing an argument

Threes should allow Fours to spend plenty of time alone, while Fours should avoid being overly critical of Threes.


Encouraging and Motivating

Threes and Fours can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

Enneagram Type 3 & Type 4 Encouragement

Threes are motivated by...

  • Accomplishing what they set out to do
  • Feeling loved and accepted by others
  • Having new goals to achieve
  • Public-speaking or meeting new people
Enneagram Type 3 & Type 4 Encouragement

Fours are motivated by...

  • Building connections and relationships with others
  • Taking personal time to reconnect with themselves
  • Expressing their emotions through a form of art
  • Feeling valued and accepted for who they are

Threes can motivate Fours by recognizing and appreciating their unique personality traits.

Fours can encourage Threes by supporting their efforts to achieve idealistic goals.


Enneagram Test

Complete the Enneagram test below to find your Enneagram type.