ISTJ and ESTJ Relationship

Learn about Myers-Briggs types and relationships

ISTJ

What is an ISTJ Personality Type
(The Investigator)?
People with an ISTJ personality type tend to be reserved, orderly, and practical in their behavior. They are self-sufficient and work hard to meet their obligations. They prefer to be alone or in small groups of close friends and may be quiet and reserved in large group settings.

ESTJ

What is an ESTJ Personality Type
(The Commander)?
People with an ESTJ personality type tend to be organized, loyal, and hard-working in their behavior. They are good, law-abiding citizens with a desire to lead. They are very principled and thrive when they are helping and encouraging others to follow a set of beliefs and values.

Communication

How can ISTJ and ESTJ types communicate effectively with each other?

ISTJs and ESTJs are both Sensing, Thinking, Judging personalities, meaning they tend to focus on concrete details, base decisions on logical thinking, and follow plans to achieve set goals. However, ISTJs prefer to be alone and process internally, while ESTJs enjoy being with others and sharing their thoughts. ISTJs should openly express their thoughts to ESTJs, while ESTJs should allow ISTJs to have plenty of space by communicating primarily through email.


Resolving Conflict

How can ISTJ and ESTJ types resolve conflict?

ISTJs and ESTJs are both logical thinkers and should address conflict rationally. ISTJs should be conscious of ESTJs’ desire to work through problems in person, while ESTJs should allow ISTJs space to process after a discussion. Both personalities should share their thoughts openly and work toward a mutually beneficial solution.


Building Trust

How can ISTJ and ESTJ types build trust?

ISTJs are likely to trust ESTJs who can recognize when to give others personal space; ESTJs should be conscious of ISTJs energy levels to avoid pushing them too far outside of their comfort zone.

ESTJs tend to trust ISTJs who engage in deeper discussion; ESTJs will depend on ISTJs who take the time to get to know them.

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Working Together

How can ISTJ and ESTJ types work together?

Both ISTJs and ESTJs are practical, logical, and consistently motivated. ISTJs have the ability to work well independently, while ESTJs tend to motivate larger teams. ISTJs can help ESTJs become better listeners, while ESTJs can help ISTJs share their ideas more openly.


Dealing with Change

How can ISTJ and ESTJ types deal with change?

ISTJs and ESTJs don’t tend to be naturally flexible and may have a challenging time adapting to a new circumstance. They tend to follow set plans in their everyday lives and see unexpected change as an obstacle to overcome. ISTJs and ESTJs should work with new developments and create a plan to adjust more easily to change.  


Managing Stress

ISTJ and ESTJ types need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

ISTJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Lack of structure in a work environment
  • Large groups of other people
  • Expressing personal feelings to others
  • Maneuvering interpersonal conflict

ESTJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Disorganization and chaos around them
  • Inconsistent relationships with others
  • Emotional or vulnerable situations
  • Unfamiliar experiences and unexpected change

ISTJs should help relieve ESTJs’ stress by listening as they process out loud, while ESTJs should offer ISTJs plenty of privacy when they become overwhelmed.


Encouraging and Motivating

ISTJ and ESTJ types can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

ISTJ types are motivated by...

  • Accomplishing goals and tasks
  • Abiding by a designated routine
  • Time by themselves to recharge
  • Discovering a practical solution to a problem

ESTJ types are motivated by...

  • Ethical, inspiring action from others
  • Time spent with the people they love
  • Strong and admirable leadership
  • Establishing a routine or tradition

ISTJs can motivate ESTJs by spending personal time with them.

ESTJs can encourage ISTJs by allowing them to work on projects by themselves.


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