INTP and ESFJ Relationship

Learn about Myers-Briggs types and relationships

INTP

What is an INTP Personality Type
(The Thinker)?
People with an INTP personality type tend to be extremely analytical, objective, and logical in their behavior. They love exploring new theories and ideas, which means they’re often responsible for amazing discoveries in their field of choice. They are likely to approach interactions with others in a logical way, rather than relying on emotion.

ESFJ

What is an ESFJ Personality Type
(The Provider)?
People with the ESFJ personality type tend to be empathetic, warm-hearted, and supportive in their behavior. They’re often social butterflies, and their desire to connect with people makes them popular. Highly aware of the others’ needs, they may seek to help frequently and sincerely.

Communication

How can INTP and ESFJ types communicate effectively with each other?

Because these two personalities are very different, it can be difficult to find a common way of communicating and processing. It’s important for each person to understand how the other prefers to communicate and at least meet them in the middle.

INTP personalities should learn to be more open with their own feelings. ESFJs will appreciate it if an INTP offers intentional time and works on being a little more organized.

ESFJ types should allow INTP types to have plenty of space; ESFJs need to avoid overly emotional expressions and be a bit more patient with INTPs’ disorganization.


Resolving Conflict

How can INTP and ESFJ types resolve conflict?

Conflict can be difficult for ESFJ types to face, so INTP types should try to be more sensitive; ESFJs should also work to focus carefully on the facts of the situation and avoid overly emotional expressions.

It’s important to allow ESFJs to take some time to gather their thoughts in these discussions, so INTPs should be patient, which may require more energy for them.

Overall, it’s important that the two types work together to effectively communicate with one another; it’s even more important to be empathetic toward the other person in times of stress.


Building Trust

How can INTP and ESFJ types build trust?

The two types can build trust by being sensitive to the needs of the other, despite the fact that they are different from their own. When they empathize with and respect one another, they can begin to establish trust.

INTP types are more likely to be trusting of ESFJs who allow room for creativity and flexibility, while communicating logically with INTPs.

ESFJ types may find it easier to trust INTPs who work at being encouraging and opening up emotionally, even if only a little. In general, as long as there is a mutual effort to meet the others’ needs, the two types have the potential for strong trust.

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Working Together

How can INTP and ESFJ types work together?

INTP and ESFJ types can actually work really well together because of their differences; processing and expressing themselves differently means they are more likely to come up with different ideas and solutions to problems.

ESFJs can help INTPs to stay on track and finish projects as they near the end, while INTPs can help ESFJs think through decisions.

Once they learn to work together and appreciate their distinctions, their partnership is likely to be well-rounded and highly functional.


Dealing with Change

How can INTP and ESFJ types deal with change?

Due to their Perceiving trait, INTPs tend to be adaptable and accepting of change. ESFJs may struggle a bit more with change, especially if it is unexpected. During this time, INTPs should help ESFJs process and understand the new situation; encouraging them to create a new plan or routine after the change can be helpful, as it may provide ESFJs with a necessary sense of control.


Managing Stress

INTP and ESFJ types need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

INTP types are easily stressed by...

  • Having to interact often with groups of people
  • Conversing with people they’ve just met
  • Being forced to follow strict schedules
  • Needing to communicate very emotionally

ESFJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Being forced to make quick decisions
  • Communication that lacks connection and empathy
  • Harsh criticism from others
  • Lack of quality time with others

The two types should work together, each compromising at times to help the other feel more at peace. Though it may be difficult, stress can be avoided by mutual understanding and conscious work.

INTPs should accompany feedback to ESFJs with praise for what they’ve done well; this will help ESFJs to feel appreciated and challenged, rather than attacked.

ESFJs can help INTPs by addressing conflict in one on one environments, allowing them to have space from others.


Encouraging and Motivating

INTP and ESFJ types can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

INTP types are motivated by...

  • Working independently on projects
  • Communicating in written form
  • Solving difficult, complex problems
  • Thinking thoroughly before making a decision

ESFJ types are motivated by...

  • Creating plans and schedules for other people
  • Following a set of rules and processes
  • Communicating casually and in a friendly tone
  • Considering multiple perspectives before making decisions

INTPs can motivate ESFJs by communicating positively and staying relatively organized in their workspace.

ESFJs can motivate INTPs by appreciating their thorough thinking and allowing them space to work separately.


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