INTJ and ESFJ Relationship

Learn about Myers-Briggs types and relationships

Overview
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What is an INTJ Personality Type?

People with an INTJ personality type tend to be confident, analytical, and ambitious in their behavior. They love to pursue knowledge and tend to be very logically minded. They are independent thinkers focused on solving the world’s problems.

What is an ESFJ Personality Type?

People with the ESFJ personality type tend to be empathetic, warm-hearted, and supportive in their behavior. They’re often social butterflies, and their desire to connect with people makes them popular. Highly aware of the others’ needs, they may seek to help frequently and sincerely.

Communication

How can INTJ and ESFJ types communicate effectively with each other?

INTJs prefer to base decisions on logical thinking and focus on the big picture, while ESFJs enjoy spending time around others, focusing on details, and considering the emotional impact of an issue. INTJs should avoid criticizing ESFJs, focusing instead on communicating clearly, but kindly. ESFJs should avoid being overly emotional around INTJs.

Resolving Conflict

How can INTJ and ESFJ types resolve conflict?

INTJs prefer to solve issues logically, while ESFJs tend to work through personal tensions emotionally. INTJs should respect ESFJs’ need to express themselves by listening and offering support, while ESFJs should be aware of INTJs’ rational processing by avoiding excessive emotional expression.

Building Trust

How can INTJ and ESFJ types build trust?

INTJs are likely to trust ESFJs who aren’t easily offended, can take criticism, and express their thoughts calmly; ESFJs can give INTJs personal space in order for them to feel more at ease.

ESFJs tend to trust INTJs who take the time to communicate their perspective; ESFJs will relate more to INTJs who can connect to their emotions.

Working Together

How can INTJ and ESFJ types work together?

INTJs bring innovative ideas and objective consideration to a work environment, while ESFJs bring empathetic thinking and positive energy. INTJs can help ESFJs think outside the box, while ESFJs can help INTJs learn to consider others’ feelings.

Dealing with Change

How can INTJs and ESFJs deal with change?

Both INTJs and ESFJs tend to have a difficult time adapting to change. Because they plan well in advance, new or unexpected circumstances can seem like a much bigger obstacle than it is. INTJs and ESFJs should work to come up with new and improved goals that work with change.  

Managing Stress

How can INTJs and ESFJs manage stress?

INTJs and ESFJs need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing stress when possible.

INTJs are easily stressed by…

  • Spending too much time around others
  • Chaos or lack of organization
  • Focusing on the specifics of a situation
  • Being vulnerable around other people

ESFJs are easily stressed by…

  • Working by themselves on a project
  • Making decisions that upset others
  • Being assertive or forceful
  • Overly analytical or fact-based jobs

INTJs should avoid being critical of ESFJs, while ESFJs should give INTJs plenty of personal space.

Encouraging and Motivating

How can INTJs and ESFJs encourage and motivate each other?

INTJs and ESFJs can build their relationship by learning how to encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives

INTJs are motivated by…

  • Spending time alone
  • Accomplishing goals on their own
  • Helping to improve their work environment
  • Finding creative solutions to difficult problems

ESFJs are motivated by…

  • Building personal connections with others
  • Consistency and stability in their personal lives
  • Helping fulfill the needs of other people
  • Advising and teaching those around them

INTJs can motivate ESFJs by encouraging them to share how they’re feeling and appreciating their attentiveness to the needs of others.

ESFJs can motivate INTJs by appreciating their objective decision-making and encouraging them to take time for themselves.

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