INFJ and ESTJ Relationship

Learn about Myers-Briggs types and relationships


What is an INFJ Personality Type
(The Advisor)?
People with an INFJ personality type tend to be determined, reserved, and altruistic in their behavior. They are idealists and are passionate about making the world a better place. They enjoy close relationships with a few people, but usually prefer working alone.


What is an ESTJ Personality Type
(The Commander)?
People with an ESTJ personality type tend to be organized, loyal, and hard-working in their behavior. They are good, law-abiding citizens with a desire to lead. They are very principled and thrive when they are helping and encouraging others to follow a set of beliefs and values.


How can INFJ and ESTJ types communicate effectively with each other?

INFJs and ESTJs are very different; though they are both Judging personalities, meaning they prefer to follow a plan, INFJs are reserved, empathetic, and creative, while ESTJs are outgoing, logical, and present-focused.

INFJs should work on expressing themselves more rationally around ESTJs.

ESTJs should listen to and show empathy toward INFJs, allowing them space to be alone, when needed.

Resolving Conflict

How can INFJ and ESTJ types resolve conflict?

ESTJs should give INFJs the space and support they need to feel safe to express themselves. INFJs need to be direct and logical when addressing a problem with ESTJs; they should allow ESTJs to work through each problem individually.

Building Trust

How can INFJ and ESTJ types build trust?

INFJs are likely to trust ESTJs who show concern for INFJs’ feelings. INFJs need to feel safe and connected to build lasting relationships.

ESTJs will grow to trust INFJs who can be more direct and level-headed; INFJs should also allow ESTJs the independence they need to thrive.

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Working Together

How can INFJ and ESTJ types work together?

INFJs bring creative ideas and considerate solutions to a work environment. They can help ESTJs consider how their decisions will impact others.

ESTJs offer attentiveness and practical thinking. They can help INFJs share their thoughts more openly with others.

Dealing with Change

How can INFJ and ESTJ types deal with change?

Because they tend to follow set plans, INFJs and ESTJs may have a difficult time adapting to change. They should consider the positive aspects of a new situation and be willing to modify their plans.

Managing Stress

INFJ and ESTJ types need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

INFJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Logical, drawn-out arguments
  • Chaotic and unpredictable environments
  • Feeling disconnected from others
  • Failing to achieve personal goals

ESTJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Lack of structure in a work environment
  • Inconsistent relationships with friends
  • Expressing personal feelings to others
  • Unfamiliar experiences and unexpected change

INFJs should avoid pushing ESTJs to be vulnerable or emotional, while ESTJs should be willing to listen and support INFJs when they are sharing.

Encouraging and Motivating

INFJ and ESTJ types can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

INFJ types are motivated by...

  • Emotional connections with others
  • Spending time alone to relax
  • Planning for the future
  • Setting and achieving goals

ESTJ types are motivated by...

  • Abiding by a designated routine
  • Discovering a practical solution to a problem
  • Spending time with the people they love
  • Inspiring action or leadership from others

INFJs can help motivate ESTJs by spending time with them or engaging in conversation, while ESTJs can encourage INFJs by offering positive affirmation.

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