ESTJ and ESFJ Relationship

Learn about Myers-Briggs types and relationships

ESTJ

What is an ESTJ Personality Type
(The Commander)?
People with an ESTJ personality type tend to be organized, loyal, and hard-working in their behavior. They are good, law-abiding citizens with a desire to lead. They are very principled and thrive when they are helping and encouraging others to follow a set of beliefs and values.

ESFJ

What is an ESFJ Personality Type
(The Provider)?
People with the ESFJ personality type tend to be empathetic, warm-hearted, and supportive in their behavior. They’re often social butterflies, and their desire to connect with people makes them popular. Highly aware of the others’ needs, they may seek to help frequently and sincerely.

Communication

How can ESTJ and ESFJ types communicate effectively with each other?

ESTJs and ESFJs are both Extroverted, Sensing, Judging personalities, meaning they tend to pay close attention to concrete details, follow set schedules, and enjoy spending time with others. However, ESTJs prefer to base decisions on logical thinking, while ESFJs usually process situations emotionally.

ESTJs should avoid using harsh language or a negative tone around ESFJs.

ESFJs should avoid the use of emotional expressions around ESTJ.


Resolving Conflict

How can ESTJ and ESFJ types resolve conflict?

ESTJs prefer to work through problems logically, while ESFJs tend to consider the emotional impact. ESTJs should be patient and attentive when ESFJs express themselves in arguments.

ESFJs should recognize ESTJs’ desire to consider logic by avoiding overly emotional phrasing.


Building Trust

How can ESTJ and ESFJ types build trust?

ESTJs are likely to trust ESFJs who maintain a balanced, reasonable mindset; ESFJs should be hard-working and positive around ESTJs..

ESFJs trust ESTJs who take the time to get to know ESFJs and connect on a deep, personal level; ESFJs will enjoy being around ESTJs who are considerate of others.

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Working Together

How can ESTJ and ESFJ types work together?

ESTJs are likely to trust ESFJs who maintain a balanced, reasonable mindset; ESFJs should be hard-working and positive around ESTJs..

ESFJs trust ESTJs who take the time to get to know ESFJs and connect on a deep, personal level; ESFJs will enjoy being around ESTJs who are considerate of others.


Dealing with Change

How can ESTJ and ESFJ types deal with change?

Because they tend to be fairly set in their ways, ESTJs and ESFJs are both likely to have a difficult time adjusting to a new situation. However, they should help one another stay positive by focusing on the benefits of change and working to reframe their mindsets.


Managing Stress

ESTJ and ESFJ types need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

ESTJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Inconsistent relationships with others
  • Emotional or vulnerable situations
  • Disappointments from other people
  • Unfamiliar experiences and unexpected change

ESFJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Harsh criticism from others
  • Being forced to make quick decisions
  • Communication that lacks connection
  • Lack of quality time with friends and family

ESTJs should avoid being overly harsh or critical of ESFJs, while ESFJs should avoid pushing ESTJs to open up emotionally.


Encouraging and Motivating

ESTJ and ESFJ types can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

ESTJ types are motivated by...

  • Organization and structure in their personal life
  • Time spent with the people they love
  • Strong and admirable leadership
  • Establishing a routine or tradition

ESFJ types are motivated by...

  • Creating plans and schedules for other people
  • Following a set of rules and processes
  • Communicating casually and in a friendly tone
  • Considering multiple perspectives before making decisions

ESTJs can motivate ESFJs by sharing appreciation for their positive contributions to the workplace, while ESFJs can motivate ESTJs by helping to achieve shared goals.


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