ENFJ and ESTJ Relationship

Learn about Myers-Briggs types and relationships

ENFJ

What is an ENFJ Personality Type
(The Advocate)?
People with an ENFJ personality type tend to be warm, genuine, and empathetic in their behavior. They are persuasive and are often using their gifts to help guide people toward a better life. They thrive in groups and love to build connections with others.

ESTJ

What is an ESTJ Personality Type
(The Commander)?
People with an ESTJ personality type tend to be organized, loyal, and hard-working in their behavior. They are good, law-abiding citizens with a desire to lead. They are very principled and thrive when they are helping and encouraging others to follow a set of beliefs and values.

Communication

How can ENFJ and ESTJ types communicate effectively with each other?

ENFJs and ESTJs are both Extroverted, Judging personalities, meaning they prefer to spend time around others and follow routines or schedules. However, ENFJs are generally empathetic and creative, while ESTJs are attentive to details and logically minded.

ENFJs should overly emotional phrasing around ESTJs, while ESTJs should avoid being negative or overly critical around ENFJs.


Resolving Conflict

How can ENFJ and ESTJ types resolve conflict?

Because ENFJs tend to prioritize emotion, while ESTJs focus on logic, conflict may be uncomfortable for them to address. To avoid some of the stress, ESTJs should give ENFJs the support they need to feel safe to express themselves by listening attentively and avoiding harsh language. ENFJs should communicate honestly and directly, allowing ESTJs to work through one issue at a time.


Building Trust

How can ENFJ and ESTJ types build trust?

ENFJs are likely to trust ESTJs who try to be supportive and encouraging, especially in times of stress.

ESTJs tend to trust ENFJs who can communicate thoughtfully and work to help achieve a common goal.

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Working Together

How can ENFJ and ESTJ types work together?

ENFJs and ESTJs both work well with others and follow through with set goals. ENFJs also bring creative ideas and empathy to a work environment. ENFJs can help ESTJs find new ways to solve complex problems.

ESTJs offer balanced, practical thinking to a workplace. ESTJs can help ENFJs stay grounded by offering constructive, realistic advice.


Dealing with Change

How can ENFJ and ESTJ types deal with change?

ENFJs and ESTJs tend to have a difficult time adapting to change, as they prefer consistent routine. Both personalities should help one another learn to embrace the positive aspects of change. They should work together to create new, flexible plans to achieve their goals.


Managing Stress

ENFJ and ESTJ types need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

ENFJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Judgement and criticism from those they value
  • Feeling like they are a burden to society
  • Focusing closely on specific details
  • Facing negativity from the community

ESTJ types are easily stressed by...

  • Disorganization and chaos around them
  • Inconsistent relationships with others
  • Emotional or vulnerable situations
  • Unfamiliar experiences and unexpected change

ENFJs should avoid pushing ESTJs to be emotionally vulnerable, while ESTJs should avoid criticizing the actions of ENFJs.


Encouraging and Motivating

ENFJ and ESTJ types can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

ENFJ types are motivated by...

  • Organization and planned events
  • Making a difference in the community
  • Feeling loved and valued by those around them
  • Attending to their own personal needs

ESTJ types are motivated by...

  • Organization and structure in their personal life
  • Time spent with the people they love
  • Strong and admirable leadership
  • Establishing a routine or tradition

ENFJs can help motivate ESTJs by spending personal, quality time with them.

ESTJs can encourage ENFJs by sharing appreciation for their positive contributions.


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