Type 4 and Type 9 Relationship

Learn about Enneagram types and relationships

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What is Enneagram Type 4
(The Creative)?
People with an Enneagram type Four personality tend to be creative, sensitive, and expressive in their behavior. They like to be unique and seek to find their own identity. Though they desire relationships, they may seem distant and reserved, especially in group settings.

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What is Enneagram Type 9
(The Peacekeeper)?
People with an Enneagram type Nine personality tend to be accepting, optimistic, and adaptive in their behavior. They like peace and tend to avoid conflict. They tend to enjoy time alone or with smaller groups of people.

Communication

How can Fours and Nines communicate effectively with each other?

Enneagram Fours are motivated by their search for personal identity, while Nines are driven by a desire for peace.

Fours should be open and clear when addressing Nines.

Nines should focus on building personal connections and avoiding casual conversation around Fours.


Resolving Conflict

How can Fours and Nines resolve conflict?

Nines may have difficulty addressing personal issues, as they tend to avoid confrontation. Fours should help begin the conversation by sharing their perspective calmly, avoiding overly emotional expressions, and listening attentively to Nines. Nines should be more openly expressive and honest; they need to work to understand the root cause of an issue. Fours and Nines should be patient with and sensitive to one another as they work to find a balanced settlement.


Building Trust

How can Fours and Nines build trust?

Fours generally trust Nines who are supportive, accepting, and engaging. Nines can help Fours feel comfortable and valued as they are. Nines are likely to trust Fours who are relatively even-tempered and calm. Fours should try to create an environment in which Nines feel safe expressing their honest feelings without fear of conflict.

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Working Together

How can Fours and Nines work together?

Fours tend to be expressive and imaginative, while Nines are usually harmonious and calm.

Fours bring creative thinking and emotional awareness to a work environment; they can help Nines understand their own feelings.

Nines offer mediation skills and patience to a workplace. Nines can help Fours feel more confident in their own ideas.


Dealing with Change

How can Fours and Nines deal with change?

Fours don’t tend to be very personally affected by change, as they are usually more concerned with their internal state.

Nines tend to be externally adaptable, but may experience discomfort with change, especially if it disrupts their peace with others or harms their private space. Those who are negatively affected are likely to adjust well after understanding and working through their own emotions.


Managing Stress

Fours and Nines need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

Fours are easily stressed by...

  • Casual or meaningless conversation
  • Parties and large groups of unfamiliar people
  • Lack of personal creativity
  • Being interrupted or facing an argument

Nines are easily stressed by...

  • Disappointing those they love
  • Needing to make difficult decisions
  • Being interrupted or ignored
  • Pent-up and unexpressed emotion

Fours should avoid being critical of Nines, while Nines should affirm and support Fours.


Encouraging and Motivating

Fours and Nines can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

Fours are motivated by...

  • Building connections and relationships with others
  • Taking personal time to reconnect with themselves
  • Expressing their emotions through a form of art
  • Feeling valued and accepted for who they are

Nines are motivated by...

  • Stability and consistency in their personal life
  • Helping to bring two groups together
  • Resolving others’ personal tensions
  • Feeling safe, accepted, and heard

Fours can encourage Nines by allowing them to share more openly and affirming their ideas.

Nines can motivate Fours by creating a safe, accepting environment in which they can express themselves.


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