Type 3 and Type 9 Relationship

Learn about Enneagram types and relationships

Overview
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What is an Enneagram Type 3?

People with an Enneagram type Three personality tend to be ambitious, adaptable, and enthusiastic in their behavior. They are driven and love to set and accomplish goals. They tend to adjust their roles, actions, and expressions to every setting or people-group in order to best fit each environment.

What is Enneagram Type 9?

People with an Enneagram type Nine personality tend to be accepting, optimistic, and adaptive in their behavior. They like peace and tend to avoid conflict. They tend to enjoy time alone or with smaller groups of people.

Communication

How can Threes and Nines communicate effectively with each other?

Threes and Nines are both generally positive and hard-working. However, Threes tend to be more energetic and driven, desiring value, success, and acceptance. Nines tend to be more relaxed and agreeable, motivated by a need for peace.

Threes should be calm and attentive when engaging with Nines.

Nines should be supportive and direct when addressing Threes.

Resolving Conflict

How can Threes and Nines resolve conflict?

Threes and Nines should calmly work through personal issues. Threes should help Nines be open and honest by providing them with support and avoiding strong reactions. Nines should address conflict directly with Threes, recognizing that discussion and openness lead to resolution and peace.

Building Trust

How can Threes and Nines build trust?

Threes tend to trust Nines who support and encourage their ambitions. Nines should help Threes feel validated and appreciated.

Nines usually trust Threes who give them to move at their own pace. Threes should avoid being overly critical of Nines.

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Working Together

How can Threes and Nines work together?

Threes are usually driven, energetic, and charismatic, while Nines tend to be more subdued, consistent, and patient. Threes tend to bring goal-oriented planning and motivation to a work environment. Nines offer open-mindedness and encouragement. Threes can help Nines set and accomplish personal goals, while Nines can help Threes feel supported and valued.

Dealing with Change

How can Threes and Nines deal with change?

Many Threes tend to enjoy the challenge of a new situation. Nines usually dislike change that disrupts their daily patterns but adjust easily to situations that diminish conflict and help others.

Managing Stress

How can Threes and Nines manage stress?

Threes and Nines need to seek to understand what brings stress to one another and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

Threes are easily stressed by…

  • Stress from feeling as though they need to constantly entertain
  • Repetitive failure or difficulty solving a problem
  • Being perceived negatively
  • Working to reconcile their own emotions

Nines are easily stressed by…

  • Disappointing those they love
  • Needing to make difficult decisions
  • Being interrupted or ignored
  • Pent-up and unexpressed emotion

Threes should avoid overlooking Nines’ ideas, while Nines should help Threes recognize when they need a break.

Encouraging and Motivating

How can Threes and Nines encourage and motivate each other?

Threes and Nines can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

Threes are motivated by…

  • Accomplishing what they set out to do
  • Feeling loved and accepted by others
  • Having new goals to achieve
  • Public-speaking or meeting new people

Nines are motivated by…

  • Stability and consistency in their personal life
  • Helping to bring two groups together
  • Resolving others’ personal tensions
  • Feeling safe, accepted, and heard

Threes can motivate Nines by helping them feel safe and supported.

Nines can encourage Threes by recognizing their accomplishments.

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